{"id":10946,"date":"2023-05-09T14:35:05","date_gmt":"2023-05-09T14:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/presspay.ng\/news\/?p=10946"},"modified":"2023-05-09T14:35:08","modified_gmt":"2023-05-09T14:35:08","slug":"4-things-that-people-dont-tell-you-about-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/presspay.ng\/news\/4-things-that-people-dont-tell-you-about-success\/","title":{"rendered":"4 Things that People Don\u2019t Tell you About Success"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When Laura Gassner Otting\u2019s first \u201cbig idea\u201d book, Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life<\/em><\/a>, came out in 2019, it debuted at No. 2 on The<\/em> Washington Post<\/em> best seller list, right behind Michelle Obama\u2019s book Becoming<\/em>. The success was greater than she expected, and it led to lots of speaking invitations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had done a keynote where I was an opener for [Nobel Peace Prize laureate] Malala [Yousafzai],\u201d she recalls. \u201cI was on the plane home and thought, \u2018This is amazing. It\u2019s exciting. It\u2019s humbling. What else can I do?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The visions of what could be suddenly gave way to anxiety, stress, and impostor syndrome. \u201cAll those things that happen when you imagine a version of yourself that you didn\u2019t know was quite possible,\u201d she says. \u201cIt was wonderful, but it was also kind of hell. It was \u2018wonderhell.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While promoting her book, Gassner Otting met other people who had achieved high levels of success. Asking them about their experience, she was stunned that feelings of self-doubt were common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had 100 different conversations with glass-ce<\/a>i<\/a>ling shatters<\/a>, Olympic medalists, unicorns, CEOs, and everyday people,\u201d she says. \u201cEach time, I expected somebody was going to have the answer. But every single one of these people at every age and at every stage had the same experience. Each one of them had the moment of \u2018wonderhell,\u2019 where it\u2019s amazing and exciting\u2014and then they\u2019re not sure what to do next.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gassner Otting\u2019s new book, Wonderhell: Why Success Doesn\u2019t Feel Like It Should . . . and What to Do About It<\/em><\/a>, delves into this phenomenon to address the downside of success. Along the way, she discovered ways to view achievements that can help you avoid landing in wonderhell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

KNOW THAT SUCCESS ISN\u2019T AN ENDPOINT<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One of the things people don\u2019t talk about is that success isn\u2019t an end goal. Instead, it\u2019s a waypoint, says Gassner Otting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe your success is big, like selling your first business,\u201d she says. \u201cOr maybe it\u2019s small, like selling your first tube of lipstick. Success is doing something you didn\u2019t know you were capable of doing. It\u2019s a waypoint because it shows you that you can do more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, the next waypoint rarely gets easier. In fact, it\u2019s usually harder. \u201cWe suddenly have increased goals that we weren\u2019t expecting,\u201d says Gassner Otting. \u201cWe can find ourselves trapped in this moment of bigger, better, faster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the moment, you can feel self-doubt, stress, and impostor syndrome. \u201cYou may think you\u2019ll get a feeling of having arrived,\u201d she says, \u201cbut where you really arrive is the realization that yesterday\u2019s ceiling is tomorrow\u2019s floor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IT\u2019S OKAY TO EMBRACE AMBITION<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Instead of being frozen because you\u2019re venturing into uncharted territory, look at moving forward as an adventure and an opportunity for growth and learning. Consider failure as an option when it helps you learn lessons. Gassner Otting says successful people say to themselves, \u201cI want this. I\u2019m not going to apologize for it. I\u2019m going to feel good about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you do that, it will allow you space to take care of yourself, buy back your time, and use the privilege that you\u2019ve had from your success to date to go forward with more of the comforts you\u2019ll need to sustain this longer,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Embracing ambition requires renegotiating the relationship you have with your emotions. \u201c[Successful people] didn\u2019t punish themselves with self-doubt,\u201d says Gassner Otting. \u201cThey didn\u2019t hide with the imposter syndrome. They didn\u2019t shrink away from opportunity. Instead, they said the emotions that they\u2019re feeling are helpful allies that tell them they\u2019re on the right track.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CREATE YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF SUCCESS<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At some point, Gassner Otting says you have to say \u201cno\u201d to hustle porn.<\/a> \u201cThere are moments in your life where you could say, \u2018In order for me to write the next book and hit another list and to do the next thing, I have to keep going harder and harder,\u2019\u201d she says. \u201cAnd there are moments where that doesn\u2019t make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, Gassner Otting has two kids and is about to be an empty nester. \u201cWhen my son says to me, \u2018Hey, Mom, you want to hang out with me this weekend?\u2019 I\u2019m going to say \u2018yes,\u2019 because there\u2019s only so many days that he\u2019s going to be in this house,\u2019\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people who thrive in wonderhell were able to have a definition of success that was intrinsic. Instead of letting other people push you toward a goal, ask yourself, \u201cIs that goal something that I really want for myself or is it somebody else\u2019s idea of success?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t be insatiably hungry for someone else\u2019s goals,\u201d says Gassner Otting. \u201cIf we\u2019re needing to put in the hard yards in the dark that nobody sees in order to get the big success, it had better be a success that means something to us or else we\u2019re sacrificing a lot of things along the way that might actually mean more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Gassner Otting says successful people have a community around them with three different types of people. First is an aspirational group\u2014somebody who\u2019s doing something that you think is interesting. \u201cMaybe they\u2019re doing the same thing but they\u2019re operating at an elevation that is sophisticated and professional at the level of polish to the level that I want to be,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next, you need peers\u2014people who are at the same place doing similar work. \u201cThese are people that I can complain to, that I can learn from, that I can celebrate with,\u201d says Gassner Otting. \u201cThese are my peers and the ones who are in the foxhole with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, you need mentees who are coming to you with questions and who you teach. \u201cThe best way to get rid of impostor syndrome is by teaching something to someone, because those are the moments where you\u2019re like, \u2018Oh, yeah, I do know what I\u2019m talking about.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While Gassner Otting says she was looking for a way out of wonderhell, she quickly learned an exit doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLearn how to embrace it, enjoy it, plan for it, and thrive in it,\u201d she says. \u201cOn the other side of this success is just the next one and the next one\u2014if you\u2019re lucky. Plan for it, expect that it will come, and know when to bear down harder or release the pedal a little to flex in and out of these moments of wonderhell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: Fastcompany.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cc: Modern CEO<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Laura Gassner Otting\u2019s first \u201cbig idea\u201d book, Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_container_layout":"default_layout","colormag_page_sidebar_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-education"],"yoast_head":"\n4 Things that People Don\u2019t Tell you About Success - PressPayNg Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/presspay.ng\/news\/4-things-that-people-dont-tell-you-about-success\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"4 Things that People Don\u2019t Tell you About Success - 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