Most people want to be successful. It\u2019s a powerful psychological driver, not only because we find self-worth in our achievements but also of the value society places on them. We\u2019re infatuated by the concept, and no CEO, movie star, entrepreneur, or vaguely successful YouTuber can seem to have a conversation without someone asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the secret to your success?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But for my money, American editor and journalist Herbert Bayard Swope gets credit for the best answer to that question. As he (allegedly) put it: \u201cI can\u2019t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This quote gets to the core of anybody\u2019s success: It isn\u2019t one-size-fits-all. No matter how well-intentioned a successful person\u2019s advice may be, it doesn\u2019t provide you a formula for your success. It only details how that person prospered in their unique situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For anyone to be successful, they need to cipher their own formula based on their unique goals and circumstances. And there is a vast range of success variables out there for you \u2014 not all of them tied to\u00a0your career or bank account<\/a>\u00a0either. You can find life wins in your\u00a0relationships<\/a>, your\u00a0charity work<\/a>, your health, and even\u00a0your affinity with yourself<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are five things to consider to set yourself up for success \u2014 whatever that success means to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first trap to avoid is believing that success requires you to be successful at everything. In trying to do everything \u2014 forget doing it well \u2014 you\u2019ll quickly find yourself handling too much. That way madness,\u00a0stress<\/a>, and\u00a0time famine<\/a>\u00a0lie. You\u2019ll be overwhelmed before you even start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To counteract overloading yourself, Nir Eyal advocates you begin with your values and use them to discover the successes that resonate with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t spend a fraught number of hours weighing the importance of every goal and task. Instead of starting with what we\u2019re going to do, we should begin with why we\u2019re going to do it. So we should start with our values,\u201d the tech entrepreneur writes for Psychology Today<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Start by categorizing your values into three life domains: yourself, your work, and your relationships. Then use these values as guides for determining where to place your attention<\/a>, what goals you want to accomplish, and how much time you\u2019ll need to dedicate to those goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eyal further recommends following the 80\/20 rule. That is, assign your goals and time to \u201cthe values that will result in the most significant traction toward your ideal self.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider exercise. Your health is valuable. No questions there. Unfortunately, people can often feel like failures when their faddish, over-hyped, and unsustainable fitness programs don\u2019t produce idealized results in the promised 6 weeks or less. They end up yo-yoing between short bouts of intense diet and exercise, followed by long stays in the inactive doldrums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But does your health, relationships, work, or self-worth require bodybuilder-like gains ready to grace the glossy covers? If not, then why dedicate time to chase them? Instead, set realistic goals that make you happy and healthy<\/a> and are centered on the forms of exercise and lifestyle you value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another mental trap is to assume you understand what is necessary for success and begin chasing it right away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In an interview discussing success in leadership roles, Michael Watkins, professor of leadership and organizational change at IMD, pointed out: \u201cThere\u2019s lots you don\u2019t know, and in fact, there may be lots you don\u2019t even know that you don\u2019t know. The time before you actually start [\u2026] is a really crucial time when you should focus on preparing yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rather than jumping in and trying to make their mark, Watkins advises new leaders to focus on climbing the learning curve. They should take time to comprehend their new team and goals, think through how they\u2019ll engage, define their vision for the role, understand the company culture, and learn from those who have knowledge of their upcoming struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While you may not be transitioning into a leadership role, this advice works for other goals too, such as learning a second language, a musical instrument, or the intricacies of indoor gardening.There is a caveat, though. In preparing, some may fall prey to\u00a0over-preparation<\/a>\u00a0and never actually begin working toward their aims. This is why both Eyal and Watkins connect the mind game of success with\u00a0effective time management<\/a>. \u201cYour calendar isn\u2019t completely full. You\u2019ve got a bit of time to reflect and think about things and really get yourself ready to move forward,\u201d Watkins said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, the necessary changes can seem too big. With so many steps between you and your ultimate goal, you may find the process infeasible or intimidating. But success begets more success, no matter how small the victory may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For this reason, Watkins also recommends using small successes to propel you to larger ones. \u201cTransitions are a momentum game. You really need to be identifying places where you can get some early wins, even if those early wins are really about building personal credibility or being seen to become part of the organization,\u201d<\/em> he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another approach is to take your large goals, break them into bite-sized steps, and tackle them one at a time. Because smaller steps are both more feasible and less intimidating, you\u2019ll be more likely to start and accomplish them. That in turn builds confidence in your ability to succeed, and each accomplishment becomes a milestone you can use to propel yourself further still.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In an interview, Amy Herman<\/a>, founder of the Art of Perception, explained how this approach helped her succeed in overcoming cancer in 2014. When she first received her diagnosis, she was overwhelmed by the challenges and emotionally fraught road ahead of her. The sessions of chemotherapy, the surgeries, the diet, the side effects, it was all too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of focusing on all that, she broke down every step in the process, focused on the upcoming one, and didn\u2019t worry about the others until they arrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBefore I knew it, eight [chemo sessions] were done. Then nine. Then ten. And then there I was at the last chemo,\u201d<\/em> Herman said. \u201cI know that sounds overly simplified, but things don\u2019t get more complicated than having a cancer diagnosis.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Another means of building momentum is to tap into your network or, if those relations don\u2019t exist for you yet, begin building them as part of your goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou need to be thinking in terms of the key relationships that you need to build, the alliances you need to create, as you really begin to move forward with those critical early initiatives that are gonna create momentum for you,\u201d<\/em> Watkins said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite the myth of the self-made man, anyone who has ever been successful has done so with the help of coworkers, friends, relations, mentors, and a host of others. That was as true for Octavian Caesar Augustus<\/a> as it was for Tokugawa Ieyasu and Bill Gates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One advantage is problem-solving. On your way to accomplishing your goals, you\u2019ll inevitably encounter problems, and that impediment to your progress risks festering as self-doubt. By bringing others into the problem-solving process<\/a>, you can avail yourself of much-needed emotional support and potentially an outside perspective that leads to a solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, a 2018 Harvard business school study<\/a> found that a group\u2019s collective intelligence outperformed individual problem-solvers at solving traveling salesman problems. While individuals created a wide range of possible solutions, the quality of those solutions varied wildly in quality. Conversely, intermittent collaborators tackled the more complex problems more effectively and creatively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reason to work with others: It makes your success more meaningful. Helping others and receiving that help is a way to build and strengthen relationships by creating a sense of belonging and, ultimately, shared triumph.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While we may intellectually understand that any success has failures built into the foundation, we\u2019re also constantly bombarded with the triumphs of others on TV, in newsletters, and through our social media feeds. And by the time those reach us, their failures are well into the background while our own are anywhere but.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This can lead to debasing self-talk that psychologist Ethan Kross refers to as \u201cchatter<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n1. Start with your values, not your goals<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Learn before you leap<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Build early momentum with small victories<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Don\u2019t go it alone<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Setting up success with failure<\/h3>\n\n\n\n